God’s Word was never meant to be a weapon against the wounded. It’s a refuge, a place of healing—not a tool to control, shame, or silence. And yet, many Christians misuse Scripture in ways that keep victims of abuse trapped in cycles of guilt, pain, and spiritual confusion. Rather than offering the comfort and clarity that Scripture is meant to provide, these misapplications twist God’s truth into something fear-inducing, and oppressive. Instead of lifting burdens, they add to them.
One of the most misquoted verses is “God hates divorce.” It’s often used to shame women into staying in abusive marriages. But the full context shows that God was condemning violence and betrayal, not the act of a victim leaving harm. His heart is for the oppressed, the mistreated, the cast aside. God doesn’t hate you for leaving abuse—He hates treachery committed against you. He grieves over the harm done to your heart and body, not the fact that you chose to walk away from it. There is no righteousness in staying where you are being destroyed. Staying in abuse is not a badge of holiness. It’s a wound God longs to heal, not a cross He asks you to carry.
Others pressure victims to forgive endlessly with “seventy times seven,” ignoring that biblical forgiveness requires repentance. Jesus said, “If they repent, forgive them.” Forgiveness is a readiness, not a one-sided transaction that demands you continue to tolerate evil. True forgiveness does not mean tolerating mistreatment or handing your heart back to someone who continues to crush it. It’s possible to have a heart posture of forgiveness while setting boundaries and walking away. That is not bitterness. That is wisdom, discernment, and obedience to the God who calls us to guard our hearts.
Some Christians even imply that suffering abuse is your sanctification, telling you to “count it all joy.” But God never glorifies Himself through your torment. He’s not asking you to become a martyr in your own home. The refining fire of sanctification is different from the fire of destruction. Yes, God brings beauty from ashes, but He never required you to live in the fire indefinitely. There’s a difference between trials that grow us and abuse that breaks us. One draws us closer to God; the other makes us question whether He’s even there.
When the Church tells victims to submit more, pray harder, or “wait on God to change your spouse,” it partners with the abuser by enabling silence and shame. This isn’t biblical counsel. It’s spiritual bypassing masked as faith. Jesus stood with the broken, believed the women, confronted hypocrites, and called out injustice. He never told someone being harmed to “stick it out for holiness.” He never minimized pain in the name of appearances. He offered compassion, not condemnation. He provided protection, not platitudes.
Scripture is meant to liberate, not imprison. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And freedom is not found in fear, or in pretending everything is fine when your soul is bleeding. When we twist God’s Word to pressure people into staying in dangerous situations, we misrepresent His heart—and keep His children in chains. That is not the gospel. That is spiritual abuse dressed in religious language.
Instead of silencing victims, the Church must listen, support, speak truth, and rightly teach God’s Word. Abuse is evil. Covering it up is evil. Protecting an image or an institution over people is cruel. And using the Bible to defend it? That’s spiritual abuse. Full stop.
To anyone bound by misused Scripture: that was not God. That was not His voice. That was not His will for your life. God is not disappointed in you for wanting to be safe. He’s not honoured by your suffering. He never asked you to stay silent while your spirit was being crushed. He’s your Deliverer. He’s near to the brokenhearted. And He wants you free.
You are allowed to leave, heal, and speak. God will still call you beloved. Always.
Survivor Speaks Truth 
Leave a comment