Survivor Speaks Truth

Tag: Religion

  • When “Submission” Becomes a Weapon: How Twisting Scripture Keeps Women in Bondage

    Few things grieve the heart of God more than when His Word is twisted into a weapon. Yet for many women trapped in abusive marriages, that’s exactly what happens. One of the most misused verses in Scripture is “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). Torn from its context, it’s been used to silence women and keep them in bondage. But God’s intent was never control—it was love, protection, and unity.

    Ephesians 5:21 sets the foundation: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Mutual submission is the heart of a godly marriage. It’s not about hierarchy; it’s about humility and respect. True biblical submission doesn’t mean losing your voice or enduring mistreatment—it means walking in love, guided by the Spirit. Yet many stop reading after verse 22, ignoring verse 25: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”

    Christ’s love was selfless and sacrificial. He laid down His life for His bride. Any man who claims headship to dominate or harm is not following Christ—he’s opposing Him. God does not take lightly those who mistreat their wives. “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way… showing honour… so that your prayers may not be hindered”(1 Peter 3:7). That’s how serious God is about this.

    There is no verse in the Bible that permits abuse. God’s Word condemns cruelty, deceit, and oppression. When Scripture is used to justify abuse, it’s not righteousness—it’s rebellion. When pastors or Christians tell a woman to “pray harder” or “submit more” while she’s being mistreated, they are not protecting marriage; they’re protecting sin. Twisting Scripture to keep victims silent is spiritual abuse. Jesus never tolerated oppression—He defended women, confronted hypocrisy, and restored dignity.

    A marriage built on fear and control is not Christlike—it’s counterfeit. A godly husband leads through love, not dominance; protects, not provokes; cherishes, not crushes. Anything less falls short of God’s design.

    If you’ve been told that submission means enduring cruelty, hear this truth: God does not ask you to submit to sin. You are not defying Him by seeking safety—you are honouring Him by protecting the life He gave you. Leaving abuse is not rebellion; it’s courage and obedience to the truth.

    Scripture, when read in full, brings life and freedom. When distorted, it becomes bondage. God never intended His Word to enslave women—it was written to set them free. The same passage that calls wives to submit also commands husbands to love as Christ loved—to lay down their lives. Any teaching that stops halfway tells only half the truth.

    God is your defender. And He will hold accountable every man who harms one of His daughters while hiding behind His name. The verse that begins with submission ends with sacrifice. God’s Word, when rightly understood, doesn’t keep women captive—it sets them free.

  • When Scripture is Used as a Weapon: How Misusing God’s Word Keeps Victims in Bondage

    God’s Word was never meant to be a weapon against the wounded. It’s a refuge, a place of healing—not a tool to control, shame, or silence. And yet, many Christians misuse Scripture in ways that keep victims of abuse trapped in cycles of guilt, pain, and spiritual confusion. Rather than offering the comfort and clarity that Scripture is meant to provide, these misapplications twist God’s truth into something fear-inducing, and oppressive. Instead of lifting burdens, they add to them.

    One of the most misquoted verses is “God hates divorce.” It’s often used to shame women into staying in abusive marriages. But the full context shows that God was condemning violence and betrayal, not the act of a victim leaving harm. His heart is for the oppressed, the mistreated, the cast aside. God doesn’t hate you for leaving abuse—He hates treachery committed against you. He grieves over the harm done to your heart and body, not the fact that you chose to walk away from it. There is no righteousness in staying where you are being destroyed. Staying in abuse is not a badge of holiness. It’s a wound God longs to heal, not a cross He asks you to carry.

    Others pressure victims to forgive endlessly with “seventy times seven,” ignoring that biblical forgiveness requires repentance. Jesus said, “If they repent, forgive them.” Forgiveness is a readiness, not a one-sided transaction that demands you continue to tolerate evil. True forgiveness does not mean tolerating mistreatment or handing your heart back to someone who continues to crush it. It’s possible to have a heart posture of forgiveness while setting boundaries and walking away. That is not bitterness. That is wisdom, discernment, and obedience to the God who calls us to guard our hearts.

    Some Christians even imply that suffering abuse is your sanctification, telling you to “count it all joy.” But God never glorifies Himself through your torment. He’s not asking you to become a martyr in your own home. The refining fire of sanctification is different from the fire of destruction. Yes, God brings beauty from ashes, but He never required you to live in the fire indefinitely. There’s a difference between trials that grow us and abuse that breaks us. One draws us closer to God; the other makes us question whether He’s even there.

    When the Church tells victims to submit more, pray harder, or “wait on God to change your spouse,” it partners with the abuser by enabling silence and shame. This isn’t biblical counsel. It’s spiritual bypassing masked as faith. Jesus stood with the broken, believed the women, confronted hypocrites, and called out injustice. He never told someone being harmed to “stick it out for holiness.” He never minimized pain in the name of appearances. He offered compassion, not condemnation. He provided protection, not platitudes.

    Scripture is meant to liberate, not imprison. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And freedom is not found in fear, or in pretending everything is fine when your soul is bleeding. When we twist God’s Word to pressure people into staying in dangerous situations, we misrepresent His heart—and keep His children in chains. That is not the gospel. That is spiritual abuse dressed in religious language.

    Instead of silencing victims, the Church must listen, support, speak truth, and rightly teach God’s Word. Abuse is evil. Covering it up is evil. Protecting an image or an institution over people is cruel. And using the Bible to defend it? That’s spiritual abuse. Full stop.

    To anyone bound by misused Scripture: that was not God. That was not His voice. That was not His will for your life. God is not disappointed in you for wanting to be safe. He’s not honoured by your suffering. He never asked you to stay silent while your spirit was being crushed. He’s your Deliverer. He’s near to the brokenhearted. And He wants you free.

    You are allowed to leave, heal, and speak. God will still call you beloved. Always.