There’s a quiet kind of trap that many survivors of abuse or trauma fall into, and it’s not always easy to spot.
It happens when you finally escape the chaos, the screaming stops, the manipulation ends, and the wounds are fresh, but you’re no longer bleeding. You find something—or someone—that feels calmer, safer, and softer than you had. And you breathe out for the first time in a long time.
And then, without even realizing it, you settle.
Because it’s better than what you had.
Because they’re not cruel. Because they don’t raise their voice. Because they bring you flowers or say sorry when they mess up. Because you can finally sleep through the night. And after surviving so much, it feels like a miracle.
But “better” doesn’t always mean right.
You didn’t go through everything you’ve gone through to stop at “better.” You didn’t survive the fire just to settle for the first place that didn’t burn. And you don’t need to convince yourself that crumbs are enough just because you were starving before.
It’s okay to want more, expect more, and hold out for more.
You deserve wholeness, not just the absence of harm. You deserve to be chosen, cherished, and respected, not just tolerated. You deserve connection, not confusion—peace, not pressure—clarity, not games.
Settling doesn’t always look like choosing the worst option—it often looks like choosing the first one that feels safe.
But safety is just the starting point, not the standard.
Healing will teach you this. It will show you that your worth was never tied to someone’s treatment of you. Surviving abuse didn’t make you less worthy of real love—it made you more equipped to recognize the difference. That your story isn’t over just because the nightmare ended. There’s still joy—still promise. There is still redemption ahead.
And I know—waiting is hard. Loneliness aches in ways words can’t explain. But settling for less than you deserve out of fear that you won’t find anything more is not love—it’s self-abandonment. And you’ve already abandoned yourself too many times to keep the peace, stay small, or not be alone.
So please, don’t stay in something just because it’s better than before.
Better is not the finish line—healing, freedom, mutual love and respect, peace, and safety are.
You’re allowed to raise your standards as your healing deepens. You can say, “This is good, but it’s not God’s best for me.” You can let go of what’s “better” to step into what’s meant.
You didn’t fight this hard to settle now.
You’re worthy of more.
And more is coming.
Survivor Speaks Truth 